There is no doubt that it has been a tragic season for me and the ones that I truly love. We recently lost my beloved grandmother, and everybody knows how much of a light she is for us. With the most beautiful and warm welcoming smile she always paints on her face, she is surely going to be greatly missed. But as Mitch Albom puts it, “When someone is in your heart, they’re never truly gone.”
It’s been a month (or so) since the last time I posted something on this page. Ever since the month of February came, I’ve been so stressed out because of school. Actually, at this very moment, I’ve got tons of stuff to accomplish and study for, but here I am, procrastinating. I couldn’t consider blogging as a form procrastination, though, because it still requires me to think and use my so-called skills. So how about a little catch-up, eh?
Last Halloween weekend, I stayed over at my cousin’s house with my other three cousins. We only planned on staying in, swimming at the clubhouse, having movie marathon, cooking and eating, and just plain bonding. All these things changed, except for swimming because we badly wanted to dip in that day, when my older cousin decided to bring us to Sky Ranch Tagaytay. It was rather an impulsive decision, for it was not planned at all, and we were not sure if our parents are going to allow us and say yes. Luckily enough, they said yes, granted that we won’t be too long.
So these past weeks, there’s this trend on Twitter #GrowingUpWithStrictParents. I kind of followed this hashtag since I grew up, and still growing up, with strict parent/s. Luckily on my part, I am an only child so that made my parents only extra strict. Yay!
*kindly note the sarcasm* [read more]
Happiest birthday to my one and only Ate Colleene!!! Two decades down, a lot more to go! In a few years, I can surely see us together planning our dream house. We’ve had this dream since we were little and oh, how the time flies by. You’re almost an adult now and I know you will be just as responsible. From dyeing your hair red to more mature decisions, I will always be here for you. Hahaha. I will support you no matter what and if you need me to help you dye your hair whatever color you want, I will. We will graduate together and shop ’til we drop using Mamu’s card. Hahaha! We’ve been the best of friends since God knows when and it will never change. As cheesy as it may sound, we have forever. I love you so much, don’t you ever forget that. Cheers to more adventures and misadventures together!!
**PHOTOS ARE FROM WAY BACK**
Second day. More co-workers, more bosses and managers. More friends, more families. The whole IV-ES2 also came. Which something that relieved my heart a bit. I’m sure dad also liked their presence. Talked about dad’s claims and other stuff.
More friends, more neighbors. Ate Nie and I had our dinner together at KFC. Elementary classmates and friends and parents also came at night. Yahweh El Shaddai Caloocan were there, Couples for Christ and some other clubs and groups. I got so dizzy, I almost collapsed.
Next morning, 2nd of September woke up around 4am but slept again. Got up at 5:30 am and bathed. It was a gloomy Sunday morning and found some of my uncles and one cousin sleeping in our house (I slept in my Aunt’s house) and felt a stab in my heart. This is real. They’re here for dad. I’m slowly accepting it. Slowly. I took a bath while crying. I managed to prep up, no breakfast. Then went to the chapel to see Mom and Dad. My grandma, Aunts and Ate Nie were there. They were crying. But I held back my tears. I don’t want them to see me crying. They’ll just say, “Be strong”. But I am. It’s just, crying makes me feel weak those times.
I was fungry so Ate Nie and I had breakfast at Jollibee. I only had hash brown and fries, tho. I’m not in the mood to eat. They’re enough.
The day went long. Lots of Dad’s friends and other relatives came over, wishing us their deepest condolences. Also, some of his workmates and bosses. Sir Sandy was there, he’s the owner of Oishi and nephew of Ben Chan with his wife. The managers were also there, and in the afternoon, Yoya, Gadielle, JR, Ynah, and Bianca also came by. We laughed despite all of these. Cousins are there also. It’s just the first day but the people were numerous already. They loved my Dad so much and they’ve been saying the same thing. Dad is a jolly person. He’s so special. No one could ever be like him. He’s one and only.
We went to the funeral home to check on everything. Autopsy, police report and all. Casket, dad’s clothes, the service, everything. The company pays for it. ALL.
We had dinner at Jollibee but I didn’t eat properly. I was not in the mood, at all. It seemed that the world just dumped itself on me. My rice was half-eaten, the two-piece chicken was now one and a half.
We came back and stayed there until 9pm. We got home at 11 and felt so tired. So tired I could have slept for days.
Saturday. I attended MTAP class. It was a fun day with classmates. I got a low score on the activity that’s why I sang in front. But not only me, of course. Then we talked. We talked about something that made me feel anxious.
Dismissal. I bought lunch at Jollibee when Ate Nie called me. She told me to stay at Mommy’s. I ate my lunch there and did Renzo’s project. And then Mamu asked me to go home quickly. Her eyes were swollen and she seemed to be hiding her eyes from me. I didn’t ask why.
At home, almost all of them were crying. I didn’t ask why, I thought it’s just because of some other family problem that I need to stay out from. I didn’t drink my medicine because we’re in a hurry. I didn’t go to the dentist for my brace adjustment. I still didn’t ask what’s happening.
Until my aunt from Switzerland called Mama. Mama said Dad got into an accident. A tear fell from my eye. Just the accident-thought made me cry. Then she said, “Di ka naman namin papabayaan ni Mommy mo eh, pagtutulung-tulungan natin ung pag-aaral mo.” (We will take care of you, we will help you go to college.) Her statement made me cry harder. That confirms everything. He’s gone. My dad’s gone. So that’s what really made me anxious earlier.